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Graphic Literature

Farniente

By Lewis Trondheim
Translated from French by Edward Gauvin
Man: WOULD YOU PLEASE GET ME A DRINK FROM THE BAR ?

Woman: I'M THIRSTY TOO . BRING ME BACK A SPRITE ?

Man: NO , YOU GO . I WANT A SMALL PERNOD .

Woman: A SPRITE , WITH A STRAW .

Man: PERNOD WITH TWO ICE CUBES ,

Man: Please darling ?

Woman: NO WAIT A MINT CORDIAL

Woman: Pretty please , Sweetie pie ?

Man: WELL
WE CAN SETTLE THIS BY LETTING CHANCE DECIDE . IF THE NEXT PERSON TO JUMP INTO THE POOL'S A MAN , THEN YOU HAVE To Go GET THE DRINKS , AND VICE VERSA , OK ?

Woman: ok .

Woman: DON'T FORGET THE STRAW

Man: stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid
Man: MASON .

Woman: SOCCER PLAYER

Man: SECRETARY

Woman: BUTCHER'S WIFE .

Man: STREET SWEEPER

Woman: COP .

Man: BAKER .

Woman: HAIRDRESSER .

Passing Woman: PARDON ME , YOU LOOK LIKE A PAIR OF TOURISTS , BUT DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE INSTITUTE FOR ADVANCED BIOMOLECULAR STUDIES IS ? ...
I HAVE TO GIVE A CLASS THERE IN FIVE MINUTES .
Woman: WANNA PLAY THAT GAME WHERE WE PICK OUT SHAPES IN THE CLOUDS ?

Man: NO .

Woman: WHY NOT ?

Man: BECAUSE YOU'LL USE WHAT I SEE TO PSYCHOANALYSE ME .

Woman: THAT'S SO NOT TRUE ! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT ?

Man: YOU MUST HAVE AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX , OR BE REPRESSING SOMETHING YOUR UNCONSCIOUS WANTS TO KEEP HIDDEN .
Man: SHOULD WE SIT DOWN OR LIE DOWN ?

Woman: UH ... SIT DOWN

Woman: IN THE ROOM OR BY THE POOL ?

Man: UH ... THE ROOM .

Man: EASY CHAIRS OR LOVESEAT ?

Woman: UH ... LOVESEAT

Woman: WHICH SIDE DO YOU WANT WINDOW OR MINI - BAR ?

Man: UH .... BAR ...

Man and Woman: Phew ....

Man: FIGURING OUT HOW To Do NOTHING CAN BE SO EXHAUSTING .
Woman: IF I DIED , WOULD YOU FIND ANOTHER WOMAN ?

Man: DO YOU WANT THE TRUTH , OR DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR ?

Woman: WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY , I'M SURE TO KNOW THE TRUTH ,

Man: I COULD LIE , IF YOU SO WISH ,

Woman: BUT I'D KNOW THE TRUTH BY DEDUCTION ,

Woman: WELL ?

Man: WELL , STATISTICALLY SPEAKING I'LL DIE BEFORE YOU DO .
Woman: SUBSTITUTE DENTAL PROSTHESIST .

Man: EDITORIAL SECRETARY AT A NONPROFIT BIMONTHLY .

Woman: RETIRED ALBANIAN TEACHER AND MODEL AIRPLANE LOVER .

Man: MARINE CARTOGRAPHY INTERN IN BATHYMETRIC REPRESENTATION FIVE WEEKS FROM FINISHING UP .

Woman: ASSISTANT DIRECTOR OF EPIDEMIOLOGICAL RESEARCH FOR A NUREMBERG LABORATORY SPECIALIZING IN ENDEMIC EPIZOOTIC DISEASES OF THE FORMER GERMAN COLONIAL AFRICAN SAVANNAH PRE - 1945 .

Man: OK , OK , YOU WIN ,
Man: DOESN'T IT ANNOY YOU THAT THE BED'S MADE EVERY MORNING ?
THERE'S NO TRACE WE EVER SLEPT HERE ,

Man: SAME GOES FOR THE TOWELS THEY CHANGE
CLEANING HOTEL ROOMS DEPERSONALIZES EVERYTHING

Man: YOU FEEL LIKE YOU KEEP LIVING THE SAME DAY OVER .

Man: NOTHING CHANGES .

Man: THROUGH A MAGICAL SYSTEM OF LINKED VESSELS , THE TRASH CAN NEVER GETS FULL , WHILE THE MINI - BAR NEVER GETS EMPTY .

Woman: IF THERE WEREN'T MAID SERVICE , YOU'D FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO PICK ON. YOU LIKE ANALYZING THINGS AND GOING ON ABOUT THEM ENDLESSLY

Man: tsk . WANT ME TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE WRONG ?
Woman: IF I DIED , WOULD YOU GET TOGETHER WITH SOMEONE ELSE ?

Woman: WOULD YOU LET YOUR LEGS GET CUT OFF BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME AND WANTED TO SAVE MY LIFE ?

Woman: HOW MANY GIRLS DID YOU HAVE BEFORE ME ?

Woman: IF YOU WERE THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF A PLANE CRASH IN THE ANDES , WOULD YOU EAT ME TO LIVE ?

Woman: ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10 , WHAT WOULD I BE AND WHY ?

Man: WHY DO YOU ASK ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS WHOSE ANSWERS MIGHT ENDANGER OUR RELATIONSHIP ?

Woman: OH ! WHAT A TWISTED QUESTION !
Man: SHE'S THE ONE WHO WIPES OUT OUR PERSONALITIES , EVEN OUR VERY EXISTENCE .

Man: SHE MAKES THE TRACES WE LEAVE ON THE GREAT BOOK OF OUR LIFE DISAPPEAR

Man: THAT WOMAN IS AN ERASER

Woman: NO ! SHE'S A STALINIST BUREAUCRAT WHO EDITS FACES FROM PHOTOS .

Woman: I SEE HER MORE AS THE SEA BREEZE BLOWING OUR FOOTPRINTS FROM THE SAND GRAIN BY GRAIN .

Man: tsk .... DOES THAT MEAN YOU BELIEVE IN GOD AND AN UNALTERABLE FATE ?

Woman: AND YOU THE EXACT OPPOSITE ?

Man: IT'S GOING TO BE EASY TO LIVE TOGETHER .
MAIDS JUST DON'T KNOW THE TROUBLE THEY CAUSE .
Man: DO YOU LIKE THE FEEL OF SAND BENEATH YOUR FEET ?

Woman: YES .

Man: DO YOU LIKE THOSE AUTOMATIC DOORS THAT OPEN SMOOTHLY AND SILENTLY ?

Woman: YES .

Man: DO YOU LIKE CONTEMPLATING YOUR DESSERT A FEW MOMENT BEFORE EATING IT ?

Woman: YES .

Man: DO YOU LIKE SINGING REALLY LOUDLY WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN THE CAR ?

Woman: YES .

Man: DO YOU LIKE LETTING AN ICE CUBE MELT IN YOUR HAND IN THE SUMMER ?

Woman: YES .

Man: DO YOU LIKE IT THAT I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE ?

Woman: YES .

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