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Poetry

Melody in A Flat

By Ian Monk
Translated from French by the author
Oulipo member Ian Monk's poetic tour of an apartment building maintains a strict numeric unity in lines and words.

in the basement the heroine of a Gainsbourg song
on the eighth a top executive smug and cocky
on the first a sexually repressed family of bourgeois
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It getting itchy fingers
on the second a man all alone watching TV
on the sixth an old couple bored as hell
on the third no one home except the dust
on the fifth the gang gets the party started
on the fourth mom tucks her three kids in
on the fourth she sings a lullaby they bawl
in the basement she sits down with her bottle
on the fifth the six-pack opened at last
on the eighth his dynamic left shoulder starts prickling
on the third the dust settles on the furniture
on the first no talking please time to pray
on the sixth husband calls wife an old cunt
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It starts hammering nails
on the second the TV tells tales of fucking
on the second the TV plays music for fucking
on the fourth she whispers while the baby bawls
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It goes on hammering
in the basement she coughs then lights a smoke
on the sixth wife calls husband a fucking cocksucker
on the fifth time for a Public Enemy track
on the first time for mass on the radio
on the eighth time for his transcendental relaxation disc
on the third the dust swishes in the wind
on the third the dust tickles the ghosts’ nostrils
on the second the TV adds spanking to fucking
on the eighth his shoulder digs into his lung
on the fourth she whispers louder the oldest screams
on the first the mass is getting more musical
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It nails nails nails
on the fifth the Public Enemy track starts again
in the basement she stubs out then lights up
on the sixth the cocksucker wants his cock sucked
on the sixth the cunt yells jerk yourself off
on the third atishoo the ghosts suddenly sneeze
in the basement another drink and then she sighs
on the second the TV adds some anal fucking
on the fifth the Public Enemy track comes off
on the eighth his heart races the music snores
on the seventh more nails more nails more nails
on the fourth the middle one whines mom sobs
on the first the music segues into a sermon
on the first the sermon segues into a litany
on the sixth the cocksucker goes off drilling holes
on the fourth all three scream like Mexican whores
on the third ratistoo the flies start sneezing too
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It stomps his foot
in the basement she puts in her iPod earbuds
on the eighth his heart throbs between his toes
on the second the TV shows trembling flesh fucking
on the fifth a chemical dance to Chemical Brothers
on the fifth the neighbors’ protests heard between tracks
on the first the litany segues into the blessing
on the second the TV features pimpled butts fucking
on the sixth the cunt switches on her blender
on the eighth his guts start rising up his throat
on the fourth mom starts to lose her cool
in the basement time for cider on a drip
on the third the flies resettle on their picnic
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It starts drilling too
on the seventh the drill says fuck you too
on the fifth Public Enemy now back and louder
on the third the dust swishes onto the flies
on the first the blessing segues into utter boredom
in the basement Gainsbourg’s voice courses through her mind
on the second the TV pops with pimples fucking
on the fourth she yells that’s enough ENOUGH
on the sixth drilling and blending on and on
on the eighth his heart makes the apartment rumble
on the eighth Etienne Charon dies of a coronary
on the seventh Jean Duparc hits an electric cable
on the sixth Pierrette and Albert take separate beds
on the fifth Jean Virginie Claude sniff more glue
on the fourth Caroline finally gives them a slap
on the third Madame Dussolier feeds flies and maggots
on the second Claude Martin cums from imaginary fucking
on the first Mme Dubreton gets knocked up again
in the basement Melody Nelson empties her last glass

“Mélodie en sous-sol” first published in Plouk Town (Editions Cambourakis, 2007). © Ian Monk. By arrangement with the author. Translation © 2013 by Ian Monk. All rights reserved.

English French (Original)

in the basement the heroine of a Gainsbourg song
on the eighth a top executive smug and cocky
on the first a sexually repressed family of bourgeois
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It getting itchy fingers
on the second a man all alone watching TV
on the sixth an old couple bored as hell
on the third no one home except the dust
on the fifth the gang gets the party started
on the fourth mom tucks her three kids in
on the fourth she sings a lullaby they bawl
in the basement she sits down with her bottle
on the fifth the six-pack opened at last
on the eighth his dynamic left shoulder starts prickling
on the third the dust settles on the furniture
on the first no talking please time to pray
on the sixth husband calls wife an old cunt
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It starts hammering nails
on the second the TV tells tales of fucking
on the second the TV plays music for fucking
on the fourth she whispers while the baby bawls
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It goes on hammering
in the basement she coughs then lights a smoke
on the sixth wife calls husband a fucking cocksucker
on the fifth time for a Public Enemy track
on the first time for mass on the radio
on the eighth time for his transcendental relaxation disc
on the third the dust swishes in the wind
on the third the dust tickles the ghosts’ nostrils
on the second the TV adds spanking to fucking
on the eighth his shoulder digs into his lung
on the fourth she whispers louder the oldest screams
on the first the mass is getting more musical
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It nails nails nails
on the fifth the Public Enemy track starts again
in the basement she stubs out then lights up
on the sixth the cocksucker wants his cock sucked
on the sixth the cunt yells jerk yourself off
on the third atishoo the ghosts suddenly sneeze
in the basement another drink and then she sighs
on the second the TV adds some anal fucking
on the fifth the Public Enemy track comes off
on the eighth his heart races the music snores
on the seventh more nails more nails more nails
on the fourth the middle one whines mom sobs
on the first the music segues into a sermon
on the first the sermon segues into a litany
on the sixth the cocksucker goes off drilling holes
on the fourth all three scream like Mexican whores
on the third ratistoo the flies start sneezing too
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It stomps his foot
in the basement she puts in her iPod earbuds
on the eighth his heart throbs between his toes
on the second the TV shows trembling flesh fucking
on the fifth a chemical dance to Chemical Brothers
on the fifth the neighbors’ protests heard between tracks
on the first the litany segues into the blessing
on the second the TV features pimpled butts fucking
on the sixth the cunt switches on her blender
on the eighth his guts start rising up his throat
on the fourth mom starts to lose her cool
in the basement time for cider on a drip
on the third the flies resettle on their picnic
on the seventh Mr. Fix-It starts drilling too
on the seventh the drill says fuck you too
on the fifth Public Enemy now back and louder
on the third the dust swishes onto the flies
on the first the blessing segues into utter boredom
in the basement Gainsbourg’s voice courses through her mind
on the second the TV pops with pimples fucking
on the fourth she yells that’s enough ENOUGH
on the sixth drilling and blending on and on
on the eighth his heart makes the apartment rumble
on the eighth Etienne Charon dies of a coronary
on the seventh Jean Duparc hits an electric cable
on the sixth Pierrette and Albert take separate beds
on the fifth Jean Virginie Claude sniff more glue
on the fourth Caroline finally gives them a slap
on the third Madame Dussolier feeds flies and maggots
on the second Claude Martin cums from imaginary fucking
on the first Mme Dubreton gets knocked up again
in the basement Melody Nelson empties her last glass

Mélodie en sous-sol

au sous-sol une héroïne de la chanson française
au septième un cadre dynamique si sûr de lui
au rez-de-chaussée une famille de bourges coincés
au sixième un bricoleur qui commence à s’agiter
au premier un monsieur tout seul regarde la télévision
au cinquième un vieux couple qui s’emmerde grave
au deuxième y a plus personne sauf la poussière
au quatrième une bande de jeunes commence à décoller
au troisième une jeune maman couche ses trois enfants
au troisième elle chante une berceuse eux gueulent encore
au sous-sol elle s’assoit avec sa bouteille
au quatrième on ouvre enfin le pack de kro
au septième la dynamique épaule gauche commence à picoter
au deuxième la poussière s’accumule sur les meubles
au rez-de-chaussée on parle pas on prie
au cinquième le mari traite sa femme de connasse
au sixième le bricoleur commence à planter les clous
au premier la télévision raconte une histoire de fesses
au premier la télévision passe une musique de fesses
au troisième elle murmure doucement le petit s’enrage
au sixième le bricoleur continue à planter les clous
au sous-sol elle tousse puis allume une clope
au cinquième la femme traite son mari d’enculé
au quatrième on met un tube de Public Enemy
au rez-de-chaussée on écoute une messe radiophonique
au septième il met un disque de relaxation transcendantale
au deuxième la poussière fait swoosh dans le vent
au deuxième la poussière chatouille les narines des fantômes
au premier la télévision passe un claquement de fesses
au septième son épaule commence à creuser sa poitrine
au troisième elle murmure moins doucement le grand gueule
au rez-de-chaussée la messe vire plus musicale
au sixième le bricoleur cloue cloue cloue et cloue
au quatrième on remet un disque de Public Enemy
au sous-sol elle écrase sa clope puis recommence
au cinquième le mari exige que la salope suce
au cinquième la salope l’envoie branler la bite
au deuxième atchoum les fantômes éternuent un bon coup
au sous-sol elle reboit un coup puis soupire
au premier la télévision diffuse une pénétration de fesses
au quatrième on enlève le disque de Public Enemy
au septième son cœur s’emballe la musique stagne
au sixième les clous les clous les clous les
au troisième celui du milieu geint la mère pleure
au rez-de-chaussée la musique fond en sermon
au rez-de-chaussée le sermon fond en litanie
au cinquième l’enculé sort sa perceuse et perce
au troisième les trois maintenant gueulent comme putes pourries
au deuxième ratchoum les mouches elles aussi éternuent fort
au sixième le bricoleur arrête et cogne par terre
au sous-sol elle met le casque du walkman
au septième son cœur cogne maintenant entre ses orteils
au premier la télévision secoue la chair des fesses
au quatrième on danse chimiquement sur les Chemical Brothers
au quatrième entre morceaux on entend gens qui braillent
au rez-de-chaussée la litanie fond en bénédiction
au premier la télévision montre les boutons des fesses
au cinquième la salope sort son moulin et mouline
au septième il entend ses tripes qui montent qui
au troisième elle commence à s’énerver mais grave
au sous-sol c’est cidre bouche à bouche
au deuxième les mouches redescendent sur leur pique-nique
au sixième le bricoleur va chercher sa perceuse aussi
au sixième il perce pour faire chier lui aussi
au quatrième on remet Public Enemy encore plus fort
au deuxième la poussière redescend swoosh sur les mouches
au rez-de-chaussée la bénédiction fond en ennui
au sous-sol la voix de Gainsbourg la remplit
au premier la télévision déclenche les boutons des fesses
au troisième elle crie ça suffit maintenant ça suffit
au cinquième on perce et on mouline encore encore
au septième le cœur réverbère dans l’appart entier
au septième Etienne Charon meurt d’une crise cardiaque
au sixième Jean-Louis Duparc perce un câble électrique
au cinquième Pierrette et Albert font lit à part
au quatrième Jean Virginie Claude resniffent de la colle
au troisième Caroline passe à l’acte et cogne
au deuxième Madame Dussolier régale encore mouches et asticots
au premier Claude Martin jouit dans des fesses imaginaires
au rez-de-chaussée les Dubreton refont un enfant
au sous-sol Mélodie Newton vide son dernier verre

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