“and once again”

"It's past and gone [...]
Best would be to go mad."

(Tadeusz Konwicki, Afterglows)


And once again
the past begins


best would be to go mad
you're right Tadzio
but our generation doesn't go mad
our eyes stay open
to the very end


we don't need to be blindfolded
we have no use for the paradises
of faiths sects religions


with broken backs
we crawl on


yes Tadzio at the end
we have to relive everything
from the beginning
you know that as well as I
at times we whisper
all people will be brothers
in life's labyrinth
we encounter
distorted faces of friends
enemies
nameless


you hear me
I'll tell you an image from the past
again I'm running away
from a specter who
wrapped in a gaberdine of sky
stands in a green meadow
and speaks to me in an unknown language
I am the lord thy god
who led thee out of the house of bondage


everything starts from the beginning


once again Mr. Turski
my singing teacher
looks at me with the handsome
sweet eyes
of Omar Sharif


and I sing
the apple tree has blossomed (...)
red apples did it bear ...
I know I'm out of tune
but Mr. Turski has been smiling
at me since 1930
and I get an A
Mr. Turski in a fragrant
strange cloud
exotic and mysterious
for an elementary school
in a provincial town
between Czstochowa and Piotrków Trybunalski
smiles
and takes his mystery
to the grave


when will the past
finally end


From: Szara Strefa [Gray Zone], Wydawnictwo Dolnoílskie, 2002


For the next poem in this sequence, click here.