Tetsu (singing): The hills of Suruga smell of tea… Inspector: Well, if it isn’t Yamanote’s Tetsu…
Tetsu: Whoa… ‘morning, inspector!
Inspector: I see you’re off to work.
Tetsu: You’re wrong there, sir! Not now, not me! Inspector: But you’re about to start, eh?
Note: The notoriously crowded Yamanote Line runs in a circle clockwise and counterclockwise through many of Tokyo's major districts.
Inspector: Listen here, Tetsu. Don’t expect me to go easy just ‘cause you’re getting old and might not rake it in like before.
Tetsu: Oh, please, sir…
Inspector: Those fingers of yours were…the lightest the Yamanote Line ever saw. Or have you lost your touch?
People in crowd: Yeesh! … That fellow’s wicked! Tetsu: Just 2000 yen?
Tetsu: Sir! You dropped your wallet.
Man: Uh, thanks!
Tetsu: (in crowd): with the recession, it’s hard to read people.
Announcer: Platform 8, departing for Shinjuku, Ikebukuro….No pushing, please. no pushing.
Announcer: Everyone, please move inside! Everyone press in!
Announcer: Kanda Station
Person: Let me off!
Tetsu: Darn, just three thou… fifty in this one! Tetsu: One more pass!
Inspector: Tetsu! What are you up to? Just got off and already getting back on?
Tetsu: Oops. Er, haha…what’re you doing here, Inspector?
Inspector: Wiseguy. I found these wallets in the trash can in the bathroom.
Tetsu: So what, sir?
Inspector: They haven’t been totally emptied. There’s about 1000 yen left in each one.
Tetsu: What’re you talking about?
Inspector: That’s your M.O.!
Inspector: Come with me.
Tetsu: You can’t arrest me without any paperwork! Inspector: Wait! You won’t get away!
Tetsu: But you don’t even have a warrant!
Inspector: $#@%!
Tetsu: So long, sir!
Tetsu: Now then…
Tetsu: ‘Scuse me!
Tetsu: Hmm…At least 500,000! That fellow’s got a bundle. That nervous look in his eye…he’s carrying money…The perfect challenge!... Judging by his looks, he’s either a bookie or a gangster.
Tetsu: By hook or by crook, the money’s mine…This is a job for Yamanote’s Tetsu!... If I nail him I’ll call it a day.
Tetsu: A tough customer! He’s got his guard up.
Tetsu: Gotta nail him before he reaches the ticket gate. Hmph. didn’t get a chance on the train.
Inspector: That’s right, Yamanote’s Tetsu in back in action…Today’s the day I finally catch him red-handed. He’s somewhere on the Yamanote Line. Inspector: The gig’s up, Tetsu!
Inspector: You take me lightly, do you?...Fine. You’ll never use your fingers again.
Tetsu: I did it!
Man: Heya, pops!
Tetsu: Yes…?
Man: What’s in your pocket?
Man 2: Let’s have a look.
Tetsu: Uh, it’s none of your business…
Tetsu: Ung!
Man: Bro!
Man: Yo, Sanko!...Didn’t even notice your pocket was picked, didja? Nitwit!
Man: Got somethin’ to say for yourself, pops?
Man: Thought you could rip off the blue whips, pops? Big mistake!
Man: Right this way.
Tetsu: P-please, have mercy! I don’t know what came over me…
Man: Really? I saw your moves, you’re a brazen old fox.
Inspector: No need to take him back to HQ.
Tetsu: M-m…mercy!
Man: We can take care of this right here….See that nobody disturbs us, Sanko!
Man: Hold still!
Man: Don’t worry, we won’t kill ya.
Tetsu: Gaah!
Security guard: Uhh…an awful lot of folks pass through here…
Inspector: A short old guy with a mustache!
Inspector: This is the station. I can smell it!
(Tetsu): AAAARGH!
(Tetsu): HRGFF!
(Man): Okay…now the other hand!
Tetsu: “Moan”
Man: That’ll teach ya!
Tetsu: Urr…ach
Tetsu: Urr…
Inspector: Hm?
Inspector: Tetsu! What happened?
Inspector: Your thumbs and index fingers?! Who did it?
Tetsu: Ahh…
Tetsu: Inspector, I…I just couldn’t resist…!
Inspector: Wait there, I’ll call an ambulance.
Inspector: Over here!
(Man): Good old Tetsu…
Man: His pickpocketing career’s over for good.
Inspector: Can’t they save his fingers? They were just sliced off.
Man: Even if they could
Man: That doesn’t mean he’d have full use of them…. As for anything that requires extra nimble finger work, forget it! …I suppose it’s for the best, don’t you?
Inspector: You’re right…
Inspector: But I promised I’d catch him red-handed one day.
Man: You sorta did!
Inspector: Well, yes… It sticks, in my craw, just the same.
Man: You’re not feeling sorry for ol’ Tetsu, are you? You, the famous ogre of section three?
Inspector: Sorry? No way!
Inspector: I was just thinking about his surgery.
Inspector: Mind if I call in a doctor I know?
Inspector: Hello, Dr. Black Jack?... It’s Inspector Tomobiki of the Metropolitan Police Force. You operated on my son once.
Inspector: Still working on the sly?...I got a request.
Inspector: Oh? well, if you don’t come,…I’ll file a report on you with public security..
Dr. Black Jack: Just the sight of your face makes me want to puke, Inspector.
Inspector: Please, go right ahead.
Dr. Black Jack: You want me to operate on some deadbeat and you’ll have me arrested if I refuse?
Inspector: Right. And I mean it. So get to work, or else.
Dr. Black Jack: A dirty cop, aren’t ya.
Inspector: Thanks for the news flash.
Black Jack: What’s the problem?
Inspector: Four severed digits!
Inspector: I want you to reattach them.
Black Jack: The doctors here can handle that.
Inspector: Not just sew them on…I want them perfectly restored to their former level.
Inspector: He’s a pickpocket. I want his fingers to be agile enough he’ll be able to ‘work’ again.
Black Jack: You think I’m some magician?...You I toss a handkerchief over them and chant hocus pocus?
Inspector: I know it won’t be easy. But if anyone can do it, you can.
Black Jack: And I bet…there’s no fee?
Inspector: No! No fee!...But I’ll ignore the fact that you have no license.
Black Jack: How many more times must I engage in philanthropy?
Inspector: With a scalpel in your hands you’re a genius. If you lost your fingers, what’d you live for?...The old man is a thief, but he lives by his fingers like you. You can sympathize, can’t ya?
Black Jack: Show me.
Doctor: They were severed three hours ago.
Black Jack: Ah…no fear of necrosis then.
Inspector: Well?
Black Jack: Normally I’d charge one million per finger. A 4 million yen loss!
Black Jack: Loupe!
Inspector: Tetsu…I hope it works.
Inspector: How did it go? Will they be as good as new?
Black Jack: Don’t be ridiculous, Inspector.
Black Jack: You’re talking about fingers that were cut off. I don’t have a time machine.
Tetsu: Heh heh! All healed up.
Tetsu: I don’t know how to thank you, Doctor.
Inspector: Can you move them like before?
Tetsu: Sure! See?
Inspector: Hmph. Are you sure there’s no damage?
Tetsu: They work just fine! … I can use chopsticks and I can wipe my bum, too!
Inspector: Listen here…I want your fingers to be nimble enough to pick pockets the way you used to!
Inspector: If all your fingers can do now is wipe your own damn butt, I don’t want to see them.
Inspector: Get lost!!
Tetsu: Yessir. Thanks for everything!
Inspector: I thought we had an agreement, Doctor.
Inspector: I had faith in your abilities! I entrusted Tetsu to your care cuz
Inspector: Now I find out you’ve done a half-assed job. You leave me no choice!
Inspector: Huh?!
Inspector: Where’s my badge?
Inspector: That dirty scum!
Inspector: Tetsu! You filthy…!
Tetsu: Voila! Your badge! Your pen! And your wallet!
Inspector: Y-you’re under arrest!
Tetsu: Aw, I was just showin’ ya!
Tetsu: See? My fingers are good as new!
Inspector: Oh…
Inspector: Well, that’s just… great!
Tetsu: Whaddya say we tip a few back and toast the great Doctor Black Jack, Inspector?
Inspector: One of these days, I’ll nab you.
Tetsu: Eh, none of that tonight, sir.
